Saturday, November 17, 2012
SMASH Day Saturday
I thought this lovely sky and bird background deserved something special. I decided that this set from WPlus9 design was just right...the clotheslines would look as if they were strung up, letting the hearts float on the breeze.
I had decided to revisit a book I had been working on for some time. It's a non-fiction self-help sort of book that chronicled some of the challenges my family has faced at a certain period in our lives not so long ago. I printed off those chapters and sat down for a good read.
What I read came as a shocking revelation. I did not recognize the woman who had written those words just over five or six years ago. That woman was hopeful, joyful, faithful. That woman had not experienced profound grief and loss, had not experienced poor health and disease, had not experienced depression and dislocation. She was me, just a happier and healthier version of me.
And right then, the Holy Spirit brought the words of Hebrews 12: 15 to my heart: "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."
God had lovingly pointed out to me that I had let the bitter root grow up and had consequently missed out on grace.
Right then and there, I surrendered all to the Lord. I surrendered my bitterness, my past, my disappointments, and my discontent. I so wanted to be done with it. And right there, in that moment of surrender, it was done. I felt a huge burden lifted from me. Freedom. Grace. Redeemed.
I have a new heart and a new attitude now. I feel profound thankfulness. This week, I feel so thankful for all of the cards and letters and phone calls from family and friends. I personally thanked every doctor and nurse and food services person who showed me kindness during my recent surgery. I'm so thankful for my husband and my little son, Sam, who have cared for me and catered to me and kissed me on the forehead more times than I can count.
I'm not missing out on one minute of grace, folks. I hope and pray that you're not missing out on grace, too.