Days when I was not crafting.
Days without a computer to blog or post or share.
Days yelling at the television screen during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
Days making tasteless, dry turkey.
Days bickering with my husband.
Days disappointing friends and family left and right.
Days doing all kinds of stuff I do not want to do because I cannot do the things I do want to do.
Bah humbug.
I walked around the other day with a song stuck in my head. Does that ever happen to you? It was "Come Thy Fount of Every Blessing." Not even a Christmas carol! Nope. Just a hymn with this line of conviction that brings me to tears every time I sing it:
"Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be
Lord, let your goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to thee."
Strange song to be singing during the start of the advent season.
And then I went to bible study that night, and guess what song we sang at our opening?
Yeah, God wanted me to hear that one.
During this "blessed" season of high stress in our family (did I mention my husband works in the corporate offices of a major retailer?), when my husband is working twelve and fourteen and sometimes even twenty-four hour days six days a week, I find myself becoming "prone to wander".
"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love."
My mind starts making lists of all the things that need to be done. Purchase birthday presents. Purchase Christmas presents. Pull out the Christmas decorations. Put away the autumn decorations. Find a tree. Decorate a tree. School field trip. School party. Book a flight. Piano lessons. School practice. School concert. Sunday School practice. Sunday School pageant.
Prone to wander.
Can I just go to sleep, Lord, and wake up on January 6th?
"Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it.
Seal it for your courts above."
And still, I feel it in my heart. The whisper that says "Your King is coming!"
Come, Lord Jesus!
And Jesus does come, breaking through my daily clutter, giving me the grace I need.
....even so, come Lord Jesus.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs MaryRose :)
Thank you for sharing... and yes, we have been wondering where you have been! Even Mother Teresa had her days... and wrote about it! So you are indeed in good company. As a private note, it seems like I always come out the other side refreshed and focused.
ReplyDeleteHi, Mary Rose! I just started to read a Christmas Carol last night, so your bah humbug resonates. I do hope that you will find your happy place this holiday season. Maybe it is just a bit slower to come this year.....thinking about you. Take care!
ReplyDeleteOh, Mary Rose…even when you are grousing you make me smile. I, too, am going to have to work hard at finding happiness this Christmas.
ReplyDeleteBe still, and know that I am God. I will have to remember that. And you have to remember how many people think you are wonderful, whether you do Christmas busy-ness or not!
Peace.
Your posts are always so real. Thank you for sharing your heart!
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