My Problem With Gratitude

Today's epiphany all began with a card.

I'm serious. I had a real, honest-to-God-ness epiphany this morning when I was making a card.

And here's how it happened.

I've been spending too much time on Pinterest and other websites, looking for inspiration on how to cure the ills of my house. And while browsing, I kept seeing this one stamp set from a particular company that was released last month, or maybe the month before that. (Home remodeling has me losing all track of time.) But every time I would see this one stamp set, I'd think how much I wanted it. I needed it. I had to have it. And by golly, I deserved it!

And then yesterday, I moved my craft space to a new location (more on that this week) and found a stamp set that I already own that looked a LOT like the other company's stamp set. And here's the kicker...the stamp set had never met ink. The set that I once had to have in the worst way was the same one that, once I got it, I put it on a shelf and never used it.

That's when I realized (not for the first time, mind you) that I have a problem with gratitude.

Honestly, I have such a hard time being grateful for the bird in hand when there are two more birds in that bush that I could be holding in my tight little needy fists. I barely take the time to enjoy the sweater I just bought before I'm in a catalog, looking for the next sweater to buy.

I realize that my ingratitude is also a sign that I am not living in the now.

I'm not appreciating the house I have because I'm already thinking about the next house.

I'm not fully worshiping in the church I attend because I'm holding back, waiting for the church down the road that I haven't visited yet.

Understandably, our gypsy lifestyle of recent years has probably contributed greatly to my inability to focus on the here and now. When nothing is permanent, you develop this disposable mentality. It's so hard to love this moment and place in time today when I know that it could all be taken away tomorrow.

But isn't that the very essence of the fragile state of life? I know that I have these treasures in clay jars. But I wrestle with wanting the power to make that clay jar the prettiest and best on the block. And God keeps telling me no. I gave you the clay jar. The power comes from me, and not from you.

This month, I'm trying to look at my day wearing a new prescription: gratitude bifocals. And just this week, I'm seeing new ways to apply it in every facet of my day.

{Today's Brew: Bold Bouquet stamp set (PTI), cardstock and ink (PTI), stitched frame die (lawn fawn)}