Grief is a sneaky thing. You can be coasting along most days, missing your loved one but still managing to push the loss to the back of your brain so that you can function.
And then there are days where the grief hits you, like a wave on the ocean that smacks you down under the surface, unable to breathe.
You can't predict what will trigger it.
Scrolling through the contacts list on my phone, making sure I've invited everyone to Sam's graduation party...and seeing that I still have my sister Tina's contact in my phone. Wanting so badly to press the button and call her.
Reading about one of our favorite bloggers who is moving again, and wanting so badly to share the news with her in a quick text.
My sister Jenny said recently "I think of her every day." And so do I.
I've been working in the garden this week, getting my planting done. I decided to add this plaque to the herb garden. If you've never perused a George Carruth store, you should. He hails from Waterville, OH area, and his artwork is displayed all over the world. You will often find it for sale in garden centers and nurseries. I own a lot of his pieces, and they are scattered all over the house and garden.
This angel was perched in the center of a gorgeous flower arrangement that my husband's employees sent us at the time of Tina's funeral. The sign says "Though you are not here, your memory living in our hearts will always keep you near." I love that. I found the perfect spot for it in the garden.
When we moved into this house five years ago, Tina was one of the first to visit. She brought me a start of Hidcote Lavender from her own garden, and it has been happily growing and reseeding itself ever since.
I put the sign near the lavender. Today, I am going to the garden center to buy a rosemary plant to put here as well. Rosemary is the herb for remembrance.
Six months without her. It feels like an eternity. But thanks be to God, I get to spend eternity with her one day.
Like the title of this old hymn, "I am but a stranger here. Heaven is my home."
It sounds like you and your sister were very close and had a special relationship. It's so beautiful that you are remembering Tina with your garden. Every time you walk past that section, I pray it brings good memories to your mind.
ReplyDeleteGrief is a sneaky thing. Next month will be 18 years since our family lost our little Hannah to a stillbirth and the tears still come at unexpected moments (like right now as I type this!).
I understand, Nicole. Hugs!
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