February is my birthday month, and it's got me thinking about ages and stages of life.
Some ages and stages are clearly defined. The "mom to littles" years. The "empty nest" years. The "caring for aging parents" years.
I feel like I'm in an awkward stage that is fuzzy and isn't spelled out for me.
While most people in my age bracket are enjoying grandchildren, we do not have that joy. And it's possible we may never have it. Or when we are grandparents, we're going to be too old to enjoy it to its fullest.
Our careers will soon be winding down as we contemplate retirement. And even though I work from home as my own boss, it's still squishy. I like writing, but how long can I continue to write about topics like parents and children? Babies and families? Pregnancy and education? Do I even want to write about these things anymore?
What do I want to write about?
What do we want to do in retirement? Where do we want to live?
Where is our "community"? I love my church family, but sometimes I feel like I don't fit in neatly there, either.
I know that I will need to continue to branch out. I'm still pursuing musical hobbies. I'm going to join a local arts group. I need to get more involved with the library, and maybe try a book club. I've got to jump back in to all that the local senior center has to offer.
I'm starting my own devotional study at home (because sometimes women's studies and anything lumped under "women's ministries" just feels cringey and off-putting for me).
I read this verse yesterday, and it really resonated with me.
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me." Psalm 138:8
I love this. We don't know the future, but we trust in the one who does.
Have you ever been in an awkward stage? What did you do during that time?
Yes, yes, and yes! Since a little girl I have felt called to be a wife and mom, and God made it so. Now those girls are 19, 22, and 24. They are on their own and do not need me as a full-time mom anymore (although I am still needed, I find lol). This is an awkward stage for me because what I have spent my entire life looking forward to and living out now plays a far smaller role. The 22 years I spent raising children was beautiful and dear to me. Now what do I do?
ReplyDeleteI was sad for a bit but decided to just take a step forward and try something new. It didn't matter what. The point was to just take a step and I trusted God to open doors and lead me from there.
The new thing I tried was teaching cardmaking classes at the local library. After 2 years, I ended them recently because, yes, God did open other doors for me. I met a couple women in those classes that are now close friends and we get together regularly. I found a weekly walking partner that is a devout, wise Christian and she has counseled me so well on life issues that have ate at me for years. I found 2 card ministries and now use my love of writing and cardmaking to encourage and lift the spirits of others. This stage no longer feels awkward AND I have a wedding (and SON) to look forward to!
Psalm 138:8 is a great verse on which to meditate because it is a promise that God keeps. P.S. One of the reasons I enjoy your blog is because of the sweet, simple things you write about and because it's fun to hear what interesting thing you are up to!
Thank you for your insight, Nicole! I feel like we're in the same age and stage now. Not bad, just different, right? Navigating new paths. It's all good!
DeleteYours is a very thoughtfully written article. It will reasonate to many people, including me. Change can be hard.
ReplyDelete