An Awkward Age

 

February is my birthday month, and it's got me thinking about ages and stages of life. 

Some ages and stages are clearly defined. The "mom to littles" years. The "empty nest" years. The "caring for aging parents" years.

I feel like I'm in an awkward stage that is fuzzy and isn't spelled out for me.

While most people in my age bracket are enjoying grandchildren, we do not have that joy. And it's possible we may never have it. Or when we are grandparents, we're going to be too old to enjoy it to its fullest.

Our careers will soon be winding down as we contemplate retirement. And even though I work from home as my own boss, it's still squishy. I like writing, but how long can I continue to write about topics like parents and children? Babies and families? Pregnancy and education? Do I even want to write about these things anymore?

What do I want to write about? 

What do we want to do in retirement? Where do we want to live?

Where is our "community"? I love my church family, but sometimes I feel like I don't fit in neatly there, either. 

I know that I will need to continue to branch out. I'm still pursuing musical hobbies. I'm going to join a local arts group. I need to get more involved with the library, and maybe try a book club. I've got to jump back in to all that the local senior center has to offer. 

I'm starting my own devotional study at home (because sometimes women's studies and anything lumped under "women's ministries" just feels cringey and off-putting for me).

I read this verse yesterday, and it really resonated with me.

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me." Psalm 138:8

I love this. We don't know the future, but we trust in the one who does.

Have you ever been in an awkward stage? What did you do during that time?